Saturday, February 28, 2009

Feedback Challenge - Are You Up For It?

I have been thinking a lot lately about personal responsibility and how it seems that many people don’t take responsibility for where they are in their lives, what their financial situation is, how their relationships are working or not … well, you get the idea. I believe that it is only when we take 100% responsibility for our lives that we can take 100% responsibility for our lives. Does that make sense at all?

It is sometimes really, really hard to admit that you are responsible in some way for every aspect of your life and situation (okay – I will give you the fact that certain cancers and illnesses, especially genetic ones of course are in no way your “fault”). It is also really, really hard once you do take 100% responsibility for your life because then you know that whatever you do if you aren’t where you want to be that it is because of you and you alone. This can be a bitter pill to swallow especially if you see your “months” (see previous post) passing by like a hamster laps on a twirly wheel (sorry, we were at Petco today).

But that isn’t really what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about feedback. Not any feedback mind you but personal feedback. I have been thinking about one of my clients lately and that got me to thinking about the people currently in the astronaut selection. There are some people who you just know won’t make it even if they have been called for an interview. To be completely cliché: They don’t have “the right stuff”. I am sure that you know friends, co-workers, and family that if they just got a little gentle feedback or, perhaps, some in your face feedback that it might make all the difference to them. They might (BIG emphasis on might) not know that they (fill in the blank) and if they did and if they chose to change that thing they might be happier, more socially acceptable, wealthier, get promoted …

Do you think that you could tell someone the truth if they asked you? Do you think that you could give that person feedback? Do you think that you could ask for feedback for yourself?

That is my challenge to you – Ask 10 people (or more if you want) to give you some honest and direct feedback. You might want to say “If there were one thing that you thought that I could do better or would make me a better person what do you think that would be?” or “If you could improve 1 thing about me what would you improve?” or “Name 1 thing that you would change about me if you had a magic wand?”

As I am the blog author I would request that anyone reading this blog that knows me or has met me or even if you only know me from the blog please answer one of the above questions (directly and honestly even if you think that it is harsh) so that I can get some most excellent feedback. If you are worried that I “won’t like you anymore” (could NEVER happen!) or if you are just worried about being open with your name attached please comment anonymously (create a new user name if it won’t allow you to be anonymous).

Thank you!! I really appreciate it and I am very, very interested to hear your feedback.

Have a super terrific day!

Ella

5 comments:

  1. Hmm, do I care what people think of me and my actions?
    • Maybe, not always

    Do I dwell upon what others think of me?
    • not usually

    Do I solicit feedback?
    • I always ask people I work with on various boards & organizations what they think of my work (usually creative work) and to offers comments and suggestion

    That is not the same as personal feedback on my personal life and personality though. That I don’t ask for feedback.

    Would I change if I had feedback on my personality?
    • Probably not

    I think we tend to gravitate towards people we enjoy the company of– and that includes accepting little annoyances that may come up from time to time. The people within our lives can be extremely different from each other, but each offers something that works within our own personalities. If the friend has faults that you would need to comment upon and cannot live with, then the chances are they are not going to stay in your life for very long. They become the outskirt people.

    What would I comment on about you?
    • Nothing comes to mind.
    I think over the past 30 yrs that we’ve know each other you have grown into an interesting, mature, intelligent women, with a wide variety of interests. You have made a life for yourself and surrounded yourself with friends who have stayed with you through many changes in your life. Being surrounded by people with degrees upon degrees, in subjects areas that would boggle the average joe’s mind, you have made lifelong friendships and garnered respect for your own abilities.

    If I had the magic want what would I change about you.
    • Well, because I’ve been your sister in-law sooooooooo long, and know what you really desire and want – and because I love you for you – I would wave my magic want and poof!

    Are you ready for the answer?

    Are you sure?

    Can you handle the truth?

    The real truth about yourself?

    • Okay, I would wave my magic want over your head and ….You would be 4” taller with the most magnificent pair of legs!
    • Personality change 0. I can be in your life with you just they way you are….didn’t Billy Joel say that years ago… ‘just the way you are’.

    Okay :>)

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  2. Megara,

    Thank you for your kind and considered feedback both answering about yourself and me.

    Now I am REALLY sad that you don't have that magic wand!!! You hit the nail on the head that I would love my legs to be 4" longer. That would truly be magic.

    Thanks again for responding :) I appreciate it.

    Have a terrific day!

    Ella

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  3. Your welcome and I wish I was in the area...your menu for Wednesday sounds so great it makes me hungry just reading it.
    Can you make ice cream taste good with no fat and no sugar! Figure it out...it would make you famous and rich!

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  4. I don't know you well enough to give you solid feedback. However, from reading this Blog, I submit that you are too conscious about your body weight.

    You know what it means to be healthy, and you know that body weight can fluctuate day-to-day based on hydration and elimination and other factors. Your body weight is not the best indicator of your status.

    You're right. It is scary to solicit honest feedback. But important. If you have any for me, I'm all ears.

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  5. Space Monkey -

    Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it and will consider your comment seriously.

    I will also put my thinking cap on to see if I can come up with any feedback for you. Nothing comes to mind at the moment ... perhaps you are perfect? You certainly are terrific!

    Have a wonderful day!

    Ella

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