Feedback Challenge - Are You Up For It?

I have been thinking a lot lately about personal responsibility and how it seems that many people don’t take responsibility for where they are in their lives, what their financial situation is, how their relationships are working or not … well, you get the idea. I believe that it is only when we take 100% responsibility for our lives that we can take 100% responsibility for our lives. Does that make sense at all?

It is sometimes really, really hard to admit that you are responsible in some way for every aspect of your life and situation (okay – I will give you the fact that certain cancers and illnesses, especially genetic ones of course are in no way your “fault”). It is also really, really hard once you do take 100% responsibility for your life because then you know that whatever you do if you aren’t where you want to be that it is because of you and you alone. This can be a bitter pill to swallow especially if you see your “months” (see previous post) passing by like a hamster laps on a twirly wheel (sorry, we were at Petco today).

But that isn’t really what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about feedback. Not any feedback mind you but personal feedback. I have been thinking about one of my clients lately and that got me to thinking about the people currently in the astronaut selection. There are some people who you just know won’t make it even if they have been called for an interview. To be completely cliché: They don’t have “the right stuff”. I am sure that you know friends, co-workers, and family that if they just got a little gentle feedback or, perhaps, some in your face feedback that it might make all the difference to them. They might (BIG emphasis on might) not know that they (fill in the blank) and if they did and if they chose to change that thing they might be happier, more socially acceptable, wealthier, get promoted …

Do you think that you could tell someone the truth if they asked you? Do you think that you could give that person feedback? Do you think that you could ask for feedback for yourself?

That is my challenge to you – Ask 10 people (or more if you want) to give you some honest and direct feedback. You might want to say “If there were one thing that you thought that I could do better or would make me a better person what do you think that would be?” or “If you could improve 1 thing about me what would you improve?” or “Name 1 thing that you would change about me if you had a magic wand?”

As I am the blog author I would request that anyone reading this blog that knows me or has met me or even if you only know me from the blog please answer one of the above questions (directly and honestly even if you think that it is harsh) so that I can get some most excellent feedback. If you are worried that I “won’t like you anymore” (could NEVER happen!) or if you are just worried about being open with your name attached please comment anonymously (create a new user name if it won’t allow you to be anonymous).

Thank you!! I really appreciate it and I am very, very interested to hear your feedback.

Have a super terrific day!

Ella

The Search for The Lost Blog Topic

I’m sorry dear readers today you were to have read the best blog with the best blog topic ever conceived in the Blogging World. Unfortunately, I have forgotten the topic and, thus, the world has forever lost the opportunity for this most wonderful blog.

I didn’t blog yesterday because I was cooking all day. I was cooking soooo much yesterday because I was too busy to cook some the day before and so I had to cram all my cooking into one day. I am not exaggerating when I say that I only sat down for 15 minutes (except for when I was in my car driving to get last minute groceries) from the time that I got up until the time that I sat down for dinner. I was completely wiped by the end of the day. As dinner time approached and Family Night diners started to arrive I became more and more convinced that the entire meal would be crap and that the food would taste terrible; the roast over done, the vegetables bland, the salad dressing too vinegary, the chocolate icing too grainy, and the sorbet too soft. Luckily, culinary disaster was averted and everyone loved the meal. It is the mental and emotional crazies that I go through (and put my friends and family through) when I am cooking for people that helped me decide that I couldn’t continue as a caterer. It is just not worth it. But, Family Night is definitely worth it. I just have to remember to always spread the cooking over multiple days!

An update on my pound weight loss commitment that I made here a week or so ago … I have gained a pound. And, yes, this is a pound that isn’t just a fluctuation pound but one that has endured for 3 whole days! It just pisses me off so much!! And, it makes me want to eat chocolate and butter and chocolate because WHAT THE HELL! Which is what I did yesterday – I just didn’t give a SH*T. And, now that I have had this rant I am going to get back on the good girl bandwagon and go and eat a salad for lunch. I have been exercising and so I am not going to beat myself up about it but I am entitled to be just a little pissed off (mini mini pity party too).

I did my step class today and worked out with Little John and now I am just exhausted. I think that I am going to indulge myself this afternoon and do absolutely nothing except watch some TV and perhaps have a nap. That sounds really good!

Have a super terrific Friday!

Ella

I Had To Read It ... It Was Written on The Bathroom Wall!

Who says that writing on the bathroom walls has to all be trashy? Today it was downright inspirational. Okay, I admit it, it was a classier restroom than normal and the quote was written on a poster but it somehow seems much cooler to just say that it was written on a bathroom wall.

Anyway … long introduction for a short quote. “How you think about yourself is a direct reflection on how you think about life”. Wow, I like that. Do you find it true? Think about it for a second. Does life seem so much better when you like yourself? Do people, circumstances, the future, etc. look better or worse depending on how our thighs, face, personality, etc. looks on any given day? Just something to ponder.

Today I had a great talk with one of my clients about the Demon Monster inside us. Inside everyone lives a Demon Monster; it’s the little self-depreciating voice in our head that says things like “You’re not good enough to (name that action)”, “You’re fat”, “You’re silly”, ‘You will never amount to anything” and blah, blah, blahs like that that make us doubt ourselves and steal our power. Once we start listening to that voice we actually start feeding the Demon Monster our power and it grows stronger and more forceful just as we grow weaker and more insecure. We each have the monster it is just that some of us don’t feed theirs as often (good thing). In the spirit of weight loss I would like to declare that it is time to put our Demon Monsters on a starvation diet! The next time you hear those voices or start feeling that self-doubt take his / her plate away and feed your Power God / Goddess instead. Then check your overall energy level and productivity. Did you notice a difference? I don’t know whether I have explained it well enough or if I am making any sense at all. If not, just indulge me and give it a shot … can’t hurt!

I am about to start cooking for Family Night tomorrow night. Family Night is something that I started a few years ago as an excuse to get together with friends and force me to go and play in the kitchen. I don’t have them often and the cast of characters changes (based on who’s in town) but it is such a delight to have everyone over for great food and terrific conversation. I call it Family Night because we are all far from our families and so it makes sense that we all become each other’s Houston Family and plus it is nicer than calling it just a plain old get together. No, that’s not quite right. These people are really my family in all ways but blood. I know that I could call on any one of them at any time and they would help me if I needed it. I know that I would do the same for them. There is a real comfort in that.

So it is off to make the Mango Sorbet!

Have a demon free day!

Ella

And Months to Go Before I Sleep

Today Pumpkin reminded me of something really important … death is just around the corner. Yes, this is the type of uplifting conversations that often occur between a mother and daughter.

She had a point though. Death is somewhere right around the corner, psychologically at least. She was talking to me about a depressing calculation that she had just done. She calculated the number of months that she still had to live based on her current age and the average mortality age for women (around 78). Now when you think “I have 55 years to live”, 55 YEARS seems like quite a long time because we think of a year being quite a long time. Now when you then say "I have 660 months to live" it just doesn’t seem like that much. I mean, a month isn’t a “long” time and 660 just isn’t that big a number. I mean, February is almost over so that would make it 659. Akkk!

I told her that she wasn’t allowed to do my calculation on 78 because I just don’t believe that 78 is my limit. I asked her to calculate my “months left” on 101. So for me, 101 – 48 * 12 (we are not being super accurate here although I am sure that there is a website somewhere out there that does this calculation for you … accurately) makes 636 months left.

And for my mom we used my Grandmother’s age when she died (84) so she has 84 – 67 * 12 = 204. 204 is nothing! At least it feels like nothing.

What this conversation did for me (besides giving me a blog topic) is to make me more aware of life passing by. Time is short; I only have about 636 months left. Time for me to make the most of it!

Calculate your potential months left and see if it makes you look at time passing any differently. Might change your life … at least what’s left.

Have a super terrific rest of the month,

Ella

Celebrating Happiness

My apologies for not posting yesterday, I have SpongeBob here with The Terminator visiting and baby trumps blog every time.

I have felt “behind” all day long. This is the first I have been home since I left for Step Class this morning and I am heading out again soon. I am so used to having very quiet yet filled days that when I have a guest and visit-filled weekend it throws me off a little even though I love the guests and the visits. I think that what I really need is a nap … perhaps tomorrow :)

Pumpkin gave me a very special gift at Christmas. She made little strips of paper that she wrote really, really nice things about me on and rolled each one up stuck with tape and waiting to be opened. They say things like “You deserve to have everything that you want” and “You can do anything that you set your mind to” and “You have a gorgeous smile” and “You are delightful” and … well, you get the idea. There are 365 of them that she made up and placed in an antique jewelry box. The idea is that I open and read one every day. Instead of doing this I save them for days that I might need a little boost or if I am sick and then I might open 2 or more. It always works. So if you are ever looking for a special gift for a special someone I highly recommend that you take some time and create one of these magic feel-good boxes! It will probably be the hit gift of their year. Thank you Pumpkin!

Prince Charming gets back from traveling tomorrow night. He had the opportunity to fly an F-86 Sabre. The first time he flew it he called me and, with a little boy super excited and pleased voice (and if you know him you know that this outpouring of exuberant emotion is not like him), told me about his flight. I can’t tell you how happy he sounded; how tickled with life. It made me sooooo happy to hear him so happy. Isn’t it terrific when the people that we love are happy? Doesn’t it make your world better? I know it does for me. So here’s to happiness!

And maybe to naps!

Have a happy, nappy day!

Ella

Frauds, Bombs, and Hostages

I am beginning to think that I have somehow transported into an alternate true-crime universe. A bold claim I know but wait and you might just agree with me.

Okay, earlier this week a co-worker at the private dining room that I used to work at emailed me and told me he thought that he was going to be out of a job. While I felt bad for him I wasn’t really all that surprised because in this economy companies that have private chi-chi (I never know how you spell that so I hope that you know what I mean) dining rooms are few and far between (even before these economic times they were) and I wondered how long they would be able to sustain it. Anyway, he told me to Google “Stanford” (go ahead Google them, Allen Stanford in particular)to see why. If you did then you know that I went OMG!!! I mean OMG!!! Then, on Thursday, another chef from the kitchen called me and we had a good gossip fest over it all while he filled me in on all the details (that he knew) and some of the background and told me about the swarm of US Marshalls and OMG!!!!! I mean these are things that happen to “other people somewhere in TV land” not to people I know and to a company that I used to work for and know all the players. Just for the record, I never liked Mr. Stanford (apparently now Sir Allen Stanford, soon to be Sir Prisoner No. 1234 if the SEC and the FBI have anything to say about it) and thought that he was a big jerk (I just didn’t imagine HOW big a jerk).

And now today, just a few short days later, my phone buzzes while I am in the movie theatre (thank goodness that I had remembered to turn off the ringer) and then it buzzes again and about 10 minutes later it buzzes again. Now, normally my telephone is pretty darned quiet so I knew that something must be up to be getting so many calls. I surreptitiously checked my phone and as it was a friend and neighbour and then 2 from Prince Charming I just figured that the dog had gotten out or something like that and that the movie was almost over so I would just check after. Thankfully, until just now, it never occurred to me that it might be something like a fire or something else bad like that but guess what it was. No, you will NEVER guess. I mean it. Well, maybe you might, or you might see it on the news (although I don’t really know if it ever got that big). Do I have your attention yet? Is your curiosity piqued?

My neighbour and husband were calling to 1) make sure that I was okay and 2) since I was and I wasn’t at home to tell me that I couldn’t go home. Nobody was being allowed into the neighbourhood because of a bomb threat and hostage situation. I mean, come on, this is Peaceful Happy Neighbourhood of the Lovely Trees not something that you see on Channel 13! So for 3+ hours our neighbourhood was the hotbed of local TV news (pure conjecture here to make the tale more interesting and important). Again OMG!! Instantly both Prince Charming and I had an idea of where the trouble might be (it wasn’t) and thankfully it wasn’t anywhere near our house (my neighbour was trying to check out where it was and told me that my house was out of the action zone) but still, OMG!!! This is the Peaceful Happy Neighbourhood of the Lovely Trees!

Do you think that I brought all of this on because of my vampire blog or because I said that I didn't really have anything happen to me yesterday so I had to write about something from the day before? Do you think that I am somehow attracting exciting things to me just so that I can write about them in my blog? I just wonder what will happen next! It will have to be pretty darned good to top this week I tell ya.

Have a bomb, fraud and hostage-free day!

Ella

Sent Away to Eat Spinach

I have absolutely no idea what to write about today. I know that there must be tons of stuff to write about and yet for the life of me I can’t think of anything witty and urbane to discuss. Could it be that I haven’t done anything exciting today that tickled me enough to write about? That just doesn’t seem possible. Perhaps I had better choose something from yesterday …

Yesterday, my birthday if you remember, I tried to give blood. I hadn’t known that there would be a blood drive but after my Pilates class I noticed that there was a blood drive going on upstairs. I looked at my watch and decided that I had just enough time to give blood before my birthday lunch if I forwent my shower (I decided that blood donation trumped shower). I filled out the paperwork (glad that I had my reading glasses on me … I can’t believe how quickly I have become dependent on them) and went over to the screening area all the while joking with the staff (it is the same people all the time). I was a little worried that my blood pressure would be too high as I had just exercised but I never would have guessed that I would be denied for … anemia! Yes, me, who as a point of pride has never been turned away from a blood donation for low iron was turned away for just that, and not just low iron, actual anemia!! I was floored. I have always tested as having super iron rich blood. I know that many women get turned away from donating because of low iron but I have never been one of them. I asked whether if I had red meat and leafy greens at lunch it would help but they told me that it would take at least 3 weeks for my levels to come back. Three weeks!!

All of this, and my birthday, have inspired me to 1) be diligent about taking my vitamins (I really suck at that) and 2) review and improve my diet to add iron-rich foods (I bought spinach today and some red meat too!). I am due for my annual physical so I will put it off for a couple of weeks and let you know what the result is.

And if there is anyone out there who would like to donate in my place I would really appreciate it. It is a small thing that we can do but you could save someone’s life today.

Have a super terrific and wonderful iron-rich day!

Ella


PS I did a ton of stuff today all boring and time consuming and necessary (except lunch with a fellow coach which was great) but I want you to know that I did actually accomplish my list today including exercising :)

Vampires and Birthdays!

Happy Birthday to Me! Today is my birthday, my 48th, and I am not sure what I think about that. Why does 48 seem so much “older” than 47? I know that when I am 68 I will be smacking myself upside the head for even having a twinge over 48 but, for today, I can reflect on life and getting older.

Perhaps instead of thinking about that I will think about … being a vampire. Slightly off topic you might guess but you will see that it is actually bang on! I have been reading a set of books lately featuring vampires and other creatures. They are actually quite amusing (Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris) and I have enjoyed them immensely. In them vampires have “come out of the closet” because they now have synthetic blood that is basically as good as the real thing so people are “safe” to be around vampires now. Anyway, in the stories the vampires look how they did when they were “turned”. It got me thinking … oh my God! … If I were “turned” now I would have to live with these thighs and these little chicken-finger hanging down flabby arms for eternity (or until I was staked or got caught by sunlight) and that is just too scary to think about. I mean if there was EVER a reason to get in shape I can’t think of a better one than having to live for eternity carrying around this extra 10 pounds and looking at saddlebags in the mirror each day. Go and look at yourself nude in a full length mirror tonight and just reflect on how happy (or not) you would be if you had to live with your current body for the next 100, 200, 1000 years.

And then I think, is it better to get “turned” at 70 or 80 when you might look like a shriveled old thing for eternity but that you actually get to live for eternity or better to get “turned” at 20 looking amazing but not having really “lived” at all. I still can’t decide. I also have to really think about whether I would take the existing 40 or so years that I have left with all the associated aging issues over getting turned (the quotation marks were starting to annoy me) with my current thighs but getting to live for eternity. It is a tough one (I will let you know when I decide).

Megara (my sister-in-law, if you remember) said that she was ashamed of me (life coach) looking at this issue with such a glass-half-empty attitude. She pointed out that even if I had to live with the extra 10 pounds and the thighs and the flabby tummy that I wouldn’t ever have to worry about GAINING weight. I would never actually look worse than I do now. She was right, of course, that is definitely a consideration. That said, this is MY birthday vampire fantasy and I can look at it any way that I want to, being a life coach notwithstanding! And, that said, I will add it as part of my decision equation.

I would love to hear what y’all (a little Texan there for all y’all) think about this most pressing philosophical issue (of today anyway).

Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, birthday telephone calls, birthday cards, birthday presents, birthday flowers, birthday visits, birthday lunches and birthday dinners. It was a wonderfully great day made even better by all of my terrific friends and family. Thank you!!!

Here’s hoping that your day was even ½ as great as mine was!

Ella

Time Flies When Your Kids Are Growing Up

It is my son Abu’s 26th birthday today. Happy Birthday Abu!! I am so proud of you!!!

I can’t believe that he is 26, I mean … 26!!! How did that happen? I can still hear him singing his little “where is pointer?” song and being so cute and innocent. I know that during his teen years that it seemed like time was standing still (kind of like you imagine time would be in Hell) but overall these 26 years seem to have passed in a blip. Time is funny that way, don’t you find? Day-to-day or hour-by-hour can seem like an eternity or a heartbeat (depending on what you are doing or how consumed you are with doing it) and a minute can seem like FOREVER when you are doing pushups or “the plank” but when you look at 26 years it seems like no time has passed at all.

I have been pretty darned good today if I do say so myself. I went to step class this morning, did over an hour on the Wii, cleaned up the kitchen, did some laundry, ran a few errands, went through my in box, did some filing, organized my bedroom closet, spoke to 2 clients, read my book, wrote this blog, and the day is only 2/3 done! Yeah me!! I would still like to do a bit more in my office, especially dealing with a few things from my inbox.

I am serious about losing this pound. It sounds silly just saying that but as I explained yesterday, 1 pound to me takes real effort. I have been maintaining my weight (with some fluctuation) for the past few months but I would love to make some more progress before I go to the cottage. I know that my body is changing (even if it isn’t reflected on the scale) so that makes me feel good and I know that this is all more about health and fitness rather than a number on the scale. I keep on looking at my body fat percentage which, unfortunately, hasn’t really shifted like I was hoping that it would. I wish that I could get back to Fitness Ridge because I know that I could make some real progress with just a few weeks there. Oh well I will just keep up what I am doing and know that my body will eventually just get better and better and better. That’s the plan anyway.

Here’s to a wonderful rest of your day!

Ella

Reducing Your Debt ... 1 Calorie At A Time

I’m beat! First it was Pilates, then some Cardio, and finally an hour with Little John. Whew! I tell you, you want motivation to work out and eat right … go on a Carnival Fun Ship out of Galveston!

I’m glad I am finally healthy and in one place long enough to get my schedule back. I feel like I have been off track lately and it is time to get back at it. Pumpkin told me the other day that this blog has also been getting off track lately. So, with only minor references to the Ecstasy, I will attempt to get this blog and my life in order.

Thankfully, I haven’t gained any weight over the past few weeks so I won’t have that battle on my hands also. In fact, I have stayed amazingly steady which is both good and bad. I think that it is time that I got serious about taking some of these extra pounds off though. Therefore, I commit to losing 1 pound by February 28th. This doesn’t sound like much of a challenge but it is to me. This is because I will have to exercise it off and then some. This might be the right time to discuss the Debt, Income, and Expense approach to understanding weight loss (the I learned at the Fitness Ridge Boot Camp). I will go through the basics of it and then will do an example.

Accounting Approach To Weight Loss

1. Take the number of pounds that you want to lose and multiply that number by 3500. This is your DEBT.
2. Divide your weight in pounds by 2.2 to get your weight in Kilograms (approx).
   Multiply your weight in Kilograms by 24. If you are a woman multiply this number by .9 This is to account for women’s slower metabolism (Sad but true).
   The resulting number is your INCOME. This is the approximate number of calories per day that your body expends just for being.
3. Your EXPENSES are the number of calories that you EAT on any given day.
4. Just like in real life there are only 2 ways to reduce your debt. The first is to spend / eat less (than your income) and the second is to earn / exercise more. When eating less please remember that it takes at least 1200 calories for women and 1400 calories for men to stay safe nutrition-wise. You should not eat less than this on any given day if possible.

My Real Life Example

1. I would like to lose 10 lbs. Therefore 10 * 3500 = 35000 (Debt)
2. I currently weight 125lbs. Divide 125 by 2.2 = 56.82 (kg). 56.82 * 24 = 1364 * .9 (woman) = 1228. (Income)
3. Although I would love to say that I eat about 1500 calories per day I really end up eating about 1800 calories per day on average (Expenses). This means that if I don’t exercise at all I will increase my debt by (1800 – 1228) 572 calories every day which means that, if a pound is 3500 calories, that I will gain 1 pound every 6 days if I don’t exercise. That isn’t good at all!!!
4. So what it means is that I have to burn (through exercise) at least 572 calories EVERY day, 7 days a week, just to maintain my weight. And, in order to lose 1 lb in the next 12 days I will have to burn 572 + (3500 / 12) = 873 calories per day (Additional Income) for the next 12 days. It shouldn’t seem daunting but it is somehow.

I know that this way of looking at controlling or losing weight has helped a lot of people understand either why they have been struggling with their weight loss. It also helps one get a really good idea of what they have to do to lose or control their weight. It becomes concrete. It doesn’t allow for excuses. The numbers don’t lie!

I think that I might have my 873 calories for the day already but I think that I might just put down the computer for a bit and go out for a walk (walking or running burns about 100 calories per mile) or do a little Wii-ing. Can’t hurt to get a little head start!

Other than getting some more exercise I think that I will:

• Call the contractor to set up an appointment
• Call my mom
• Apply for NEXUS
• Call Connie re my visa application
• Read my book
• Unpack from the cruise
• Answer a few pressing emails

Nothing exciting or pressing. I will save that for tomorrow.

Until then, have a wonderful day!

Ella

I Think Calling it Ecstasy is a Bit of a Stretch

I missed you! Yes, I did! And I'm glad to be back and blogging again!!


Have you ever been on a cruise? WARNING: If you have, and you love cruising, please skip the next few blogs as I may say a few things that might offend you. In fact, you can count on it.

Oh where oh where do I start? Okay, let’s start with the embarkation process. Prince Charming and I drop our car off in some faraway lot ($45) and line up with our paperwork (they are VERY worried that you have your paperwork IN YOUR HANDS and READY!!) in the looooong line to “embark”. As we are waiting in this long line (actually moving fairly quickly) we started to look around a bit. It was then that we realized that we didn’t really belong in the same weight class as many of the other embarkers. In fact, it seemed more like we had somehow stumbled into a casting call for the next “Biggest Loser” show. It was then that I started to wonder whether they made an adjustment to the total weight allowance for the ship. Oh, the things that you think about in a cruise line's line :)

I wish that I had taken a picture of the stairs and wallpaper in the main stairways, in fact, of the ship in general. It was the second really, really scary thing. The whole décor felt like something out of an off, off-the-strip cheap Vegas casino. Garish and a little bit seedy everywhere we turned. Think cheap Vegas kitsch but not in a good, cool, retro way. The picture below (I got this from Google images) doesn't do it all justice but may give you a little hint. The only cool part of it was that the decks were labeled “The Lido Deck” and “The Promenade Deck” and we had a “Cruise Director” and our maitre d’ had a cool accent and sounded kind of slimy (as you would imagine your cruise boat maitre d’ to sound – I think). Our own "Love Boat"!


In all fairness, our stateroom was a little better than we expected. And, Dewa, our cabin purser (steward?) was quite nice and seemed always available (I think that his job is to stand in the hall just in case someone needs something). He might also be in charge of making the towel animals that adorned our turned-down bed each night (A How to Make Towel Animals class was offered for a small fee … you could also buy a book ... I wasn't really tempted).

At 6pm we made our way to dinner (Wind Song dining room) and met Miyassa our waiter. Miyassa was from Indonesia and I don’t think that he actually understood English. He nodded a lot and liked it when you pointed to the menu item. Maybe it is just that he didn’t understand MY English. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Although the menu was varied and plentiful the food quality was kind of a cross between Luby’s meets iHop meets McDonalds. Whatever we had that night (all nights) was completely unmemorable.

A combination of Dramamine (Gravol for the Canadians), culture shock, and crap dinner sent us running for our stateroom and the official end of Day One at sea. The saga continues tomorrow!

Have a great one!

Ella

Project 365 - February 12th

This photo was just another clue that we were in for a "Fun" few days at sea. You mean that we were on a "Moving Ship"? Whoa! Who would have guessed? Glad we had this warning! Heavens knows what would have happened if they hadn't told us!

Packing for 12

I just had the BEST news! My friend Robocop will be here next week for the 2nd round of astronaut interviews. She is the most amazing young lady with the most amazing husband (2nd only to Prince Charming) and most amazing daughter. It had looked for a while like she was out of the running for something completely out of her control (well, not really, but bad timing more like) when they changed the rules (I know that they changed them for her!) to allow her to do the 2nd interview. I know that this sounds convoluted to anyone that doesn’t know us (and maybe to a few who do) but just know that this is AMAZING, TERRIFIC, WONDERFUL news!

This happening just goes along with my theory that you can “never say never” even when other people are saying “never”. Maybe I live in an optimistic dream world but I really think that living with a “never say never” and “it will all work out somehow” and other clichés like that is the best way and perhaps the happiest. I can’t speak for anyone else but since I took on a sunnier, glass half full (clichés galore in this post!!) attitude towards life I think that my life is better than it ever would have been. Is this true or is this just the attitude talking?
For those of us that believe in the law of attraction it has to be true. It also helps when things might not be going as well as you might hope at the moment. For me, I think that it helps foster a more can-do way of being. Since I believe that we should “never say never” I probably work at things longer than I might of if I didn’t have that attitude. And then when things “turn out” after all is that because I worked longer at them or just because they would have anyway?
Either way, I believe that I do more and enjoy life more than I would if I had a more pessimistic outlook. Do you know many pessimistic people who succeed at most things that they attempt? Do you see that in most optimistic people? How would you consider your outlook on life and what do you think that it has done or not done for you?

I am leaving in a few minutes to drive down to the cruise ship. I have packed WAY too much stuff (I think that I have at least 4 changes of clothes for each day) and I bet that I won’t wear half of it. As it is only 4 days it is silly to have a giganto suitcase with (get this) 8 pairs of shoes! Oh well, they do allow us 2 pieces of 50 lbs each and I am not even coming close to that! Can you believe it? 2 pieces of 50 lbs each for 4 days! My GOD! It made me giddy with packing freedom and, hence, 1 overstuffed suitcase for me. I hope Prince Charming shows a little more restraint so that we don’t have to take 2 cars!

Oh, I think that I just thought of a few “can’t live withouts” to add to my luggage so I should run.

Have a wonderful day!

Ella

PS Megara ... don't think that you can slack off now. I will be watching!

Hula Girls and Hoochie Mamas

I made a terrific discovery today … drum roll please!! … I can fit into some pants that I have NEVER worn from about 5 years ago! That doesn’t sound very impressive but, believe me, it is! These are pants that I bought in a “skinny” moment of weakness; in fact, I have NO idea what I was thinking! One pair is a flowery kind of tropical island meets Spain capris and the other is a shell dangling (no kidding), beaded cuff, tropical palm frond decorated hula pair. Both are way more “out there” than I normally am … at least where clothing is concerned. I tried them on for a lark this morning as I was going through potential “cruise” wear and, lo and behold, they actually fit!! Fit!! On my used to be fat ass! And without the “this is really too small for you” pulling at the crotch and everything. They legitimately fit. I modeled them in front of Prince Charming and he gave them the cruise-worthy okay so in my suitcase they go! I think that they will be perfect for a 4-day cruise to Cozumel especially with the crowd that we are going with (tending to favor loud Hawaiian shirts and drinks with umbrellas).


As you may have guessed Prince Charming and I are going on a cruise. It will be our first one and we are looking forward to checking it out. We like active vacations so this will either fit the bill or we will be the first on the gang-plank when we get back. Either way, a 4 day cruise is a good way to get our cruising feet wet. People that I have talked to either love them or hate them so we shall see. We are cruising to Cozumel (1 day in port) and otherwise will be at sea. I will definitely make sure that I have plenty of Dramamine on hand for sea sickness (another reason that we haven’t done a cruise before).

We chose “Amazing Race Cozumel” as our in-port activity. It is the only activity (and there were a lot to choose from) that I thought that Prince Charming and I would enjoy. In fact, we are both looking forward to it. Here is the description from the website:

Play Amazing Cozumel Race - an interactive, clue-based adventure game that's like a reality show! Equal parts live-action mystery novel, and scavenger hunt, it's the best and most fun way to experience Cozumel.
On this excursion you will:
Form teams of two or more, with a maximum of 10 guests per team.
Be met at the pier and taken to the starting line.
Spend an exciting day racing throughout Cozumel, solving devious clues each step of the way.
Try to be the first to unlock a secret code and defeat an ancient Mayan Curse.
Enjoy a brief snorkeling adventure.
Use your wits, energy, and sense of adventure as you race against time and your shipmates.
See a side of Cozumel most visitors never get to see.

So, it is off cruising we go tomorrow. I am not sure about on-board Internet access but I will post if I can.

Have a fantastic day!!

Ella

Project 365 Photo of the Day

Pumpkin has accused me of falling down on my duties both as a blogger and as a Project 365 participant. She says that I am like a Project Whenever you like participant which might not exactly be the same thing. I plead the flu and its lingering influence. In the spirit of participation I took this picture after returning from a Laser Hair Removal treatment (just be happy that I passed on the Pube appointment today). Enjoy :)

Holy Exercise Orgasm Bat Man!

A friend (Thank you Space Monkey!) sent me a scary but interesting article the other day. It was a follow-up to a discussion that we had about endorphins and exercise. She mentioned that she felt wonderful after exercising because of all of the endorphins. I told her that I would probably exercise more if I actually got that who endorphin rush but mostly I just get tired. I wonder if that is the big difference between people who LOVE to exercise and those of us that have a bit of a struggle with it. I really do wish that I could get all jazzed and happy after exercising! I would love to feel that endorphin rush that people talk about. I wonder why it happens for some people and not for all of us. I will try to research this a bit more.

Well, I don’t know if this will help you, and it kind of freaks me out a little, but apparently you can get an orgasm from doing crunches. Yes, the dreaded crunch might not be so dreaded anymore! Apparently (I did NOT try this at home!) on Glamour.com Someone called Smitten writes that This ab workout brings her to orgasm every time.



Here's her secret:
You just lie on your back, bend your knees and put your feet on the floor, like you're doing regular sit-ups. Then press your lower back into the floor, and tilt up your pelvis slightly. Cross your arms over your chest and just do low sit-ups, moving just a little bit up and down.
She claims that if you do them the right way, the pressure it puts on your body gives you a big O … every time!

So would you exercise more or less if you knew that “the Big O” was there for you every time? Can you call that an increase in endorphins? Enquiring minds want to know!! Well, maybe we don’t want to know …

Is “She” / “He” Really A Pregnant “Man”?

I just had a conversation with Pumpkin about whether the “Pregnant Man” is really a man or not. I say that she / he is not a technically a man and Pumpkin contends that he / she is. There is a television show on right now that sparked the debate.

According to the television show the fact that Tracy / Thomas had her / his breasts removed allowed her / him to legally change her / his gender on all government documents even though she / he didn’t have any of her reproductive organs removed. Does this mean that any women who have radical mastectomies can legally change their gender? It sounds like it.

Pumpkin believes that since Thomas is living as a man and believes that he is a man that that makes him a man. Her question to me is “What makes someone a man or a woman?” How can we label the genders?

These are good questions. And I don’t know that there are any real answers because the variations on the theme are so huge. After watching the show I guess that I tend to think of him / her more as a man than a woman but I still say that calling him / her the first Pregnant Man is really stretching it. Biologically I still feel that she / he is a female and so cannot be a Pregnant Man regardless of legal status but I must concede that since she / he has a legal definition as a man that she / he can go down on the books as the first Pregnant Man. Even as I write this it feels wrong! I will concede that she wants to be a he, lives like a he, and acts like a he but deep down I don’t think that he is!

What do you think? How do you stand on this … pregnant man or not?

Have a terrific day!

Ella

PS If you have something hateful to say about him / her please do not comment. I fully respect her / his right to choose her / his gender and live as he / she pleases. I am only splitting hairs on whether I believe that she / he deserves the “Pregnant Man” designation.

PPS I haven't done any actual research about this topic except for thinking about it and watching the television show (called Pregnant Man).

PPPS Follow-up FYI. I looked up a medical definition of the term male and female. Interestingly as it relates to this discussion, the definition for female is "an individual organism of the sex that bears young or produces ova or eggs" and "an individual of the sex that produces ova or bears young" while male is "Of, relating to, or designating the sex that has organs to produce spermatozoa for fertilizing ova" and "A member of the sex that begets young by fertilizing ova".

Surprise Surprise – Who Would Have Guessed?

I want to ask anyone who knows me whether they would consider me an “A” type personality or not? Before I started my "research" for this post I would have guessed that I would get an almost 100% rousing “YES – A for sure!”. But, wait! I’m NOT. No, really, I’m not. I just took some tests and that proves it.

It all started with a conversation today with Megara. Actually, I guess it started last week when Megara said that she never considered herself an “A” type personality (If you knew her you would have laughed too - old dopey me and my ignorance!). I would have bet that she was an “A” type … that is, until I did my own test and found out that I wasn’t an “A” type personality! So, now that I have done 3 of these tests I realize that I am, no joke, a certified TYPE B! Me!! Type B!! Who knew???

Then again, I think that I had a different idea of what an “A” type personality was. I guess that I never imagined that it was soooo extreme. Have I changed? Was I always really a mix or have I evolved that way? I must do more tests.

I would love it if you (yes that means you Megara) would do a few of these tests and let me know what your results are.

Here are some test sites (and my results from these sites):

http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/type_a_personality_access.html

Results of Your Type A Personality Test

Personality Type
Your score = 41

What does your score mean?
You seem to be in the middle between the Type A and Type B personality. In this case, the middle ground is good. Your attitude to life is more of the "smell the roses" kind and you know how and when to relax. Nonetheless, you realize that picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life. The equilibrium is important, so don't let your hostile, aggressive, and competitive alter ego take over too often. Generally, you are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. Yours is a very healthy attitude towards life.

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=1126

Score 35 / 100 (100 = A extreme)
Your interactions with others, while characterized by warmth and tolerance the majority of the time, may occasionally be tinged with impatience and hostility. When you’re stressed or frustrated, you may lash out at others or end up stewing in anger or frustration, but this is very rare. Since you generally trust others, you are usually willing to open up emotionally and value relationships for the sake of the people involved, instead of what they can do for you. This is fortunate because a high amount of this aspect of the Type A Behavior Pattern (TABP) can not only be extremely harmful to relationships, it is also very damaging to your health. While originally it was thought that global TABP was the culprit in coronary heart disease, research now shows that hostility, impatience, and other related traits are the real source of the problem. Based on your results here, you are likely not at a very elevated risk of heart disease, but keep in mind that there are other causes unrelated to the TABP, such as poor diet, lack of exercise, and smoking, among other things.

http://www.psychtests.com/tests/personality/type_a_r_access.html

Results of the Type A Personality Test -R

Your score = 48

What does your score mean?
You seem to have a Type B personality. Your personality draws characteristics from each of the other personality types, that is, Type A and Type C. Either you adjust your behavior depending on the situation, or you tend to be moderated in your attitudes. In any case, you are the most balanced of the three personality types.

Some Information About Type A and Type B Personality

According to scientific literature, Type A behavior is characterized by an intense and sustained drive to achieve goals and an eagerness to compete. Personalities categorized as Type A tend to have a persistent desire for external recognition and advancement. They are involved in various functions that bring about time restrictions. Such personalities have a tendency to speed up mental and physical tasks with extraordinary mental and physical alertness. These characteristics make for super-achievers and high-powered people.
Type A individuals can get a lot done and have the potential to really move ahead in the world. But there is a high price to pay. Certain components of such a personality can inhibit happiness and even threaten health. For example, the goals that Type A folks set are often poorly defined and therefore hard to achieve—a perfect recipe for misery.
Type A is also characterized by a general discontentedness and the impulse to be overly critical and demanding, even contemptuous of imperfection, in the self and others. This focus on negative aspects and the accompanying bursts of hostility and impatience result in guilt, remorse and anxiety.
Type A personalities are motivated by external sources (instead of by inner motivation), such as material reward and appreciation from others. Type A folks experience a constant sense of opposition, wariness, and apprehension--they are always ready for battle. And anyone can imagine how this constant (and very exhausting) existence would deplete reserves of contentment and happiness and disrupt personal equilibrium.
Although the literature is somewhat inconsistent because of problems with the conceptualization and definition of Type A behavior pattern, it has been linked to higher risks of cardiovascular diseases. The risks seemed to be reduced with intervention aimed at reducing Type A behavior. Indeed, those with a high Type A score would be happier and healthier if they were to file down the jagged edges of their personality. By learning how to control the negative behavior patterns while preserving their drive, Type A people can be successful without sacrificing their emotional well-being.
Type B behavior is usually defined as the absence of Type A behavior. Type B personalities are relaxed and have a laid-back attitude and posture. They are friendly, accepting, patient, at ease, and generally content. They are at peace with themselves and others. They show a general sense of harmony with people, events, and life circumstances. They tend to be trusting. They focus on the positive aspects of things, people and events. Type B folks are self-encouraging, have inner motivation, are stable and have a pleasant mood. They are interested in others and accept trivial mistakes. They have an accepting attitude about trivial mistakes and a problem-solving attitude about major mistakes. They are flexible and good team members. The Type B person is able to lead and be led.

Project 365 Photo of the Day

Today I decided to treat myself. I was only going to get an ice cream cone from Baskin & Robbins but then the clerk told me (no word of a lie) that the Chocolate Chip (the only B&R ice cream worth the calories - and it is sooooo worth it) ice cream was too soft. The quart cartons were my only choice (really, I HAD to!). And, they were 1 for $6 and 2 for $9. What would you do? If one of my goals is to be more protective of our money then I just had to get both. You have to agree (don't let me know if you don't). Anyway, here is the evidence (no I didn't eat both quarts already but, admittedly, I do feel a little sick from eating so much).

When Will We Start Taking Responsibility?

Okay I’m a little pissed off now. Who am I kidding? I am A LOT pissed off right now. First there was “ED” yes you know the dreaded “Erectile Dysfunction”, the whole marketing-ploy concept of which just irritates the crap out of me. Those ads that we have to put up with! The slow dancing! Give me a break! Please. But I think that they have gone one better now. Now we have … drum roll please … and I’m not kidding you here this is actually happening … “Metabolic Syndrome”. Yes, you heard it here first (well maybe not here first but I hope so or I will be really worried) … METABOLIC SYNDROME!

Get this “in surveying 5,077 adults, researchers found that those who got little or no daily exercise or ate low calcium diets were at least 1.5 times as likely to develop metabolic syndrome, a cluster of conditions (including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and excess belly fat) that up your risk for heart disease and diabetes.” Well NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

Honestly, I can barely think when I read this. Talk about something that causes high blood pressure!

Now, eating a crap diet and not doing any exercise isn’t just overeating and laziness it is a “Metabolic Syndrome”. Hey, I don’t have diabetes because I eat Ho-Hos all day long and sit on my ass, it is because I have “Metabolic Syndrome”. Poor pitiful me… I have a syyyynnndrome. Yes, a Syndrome. It isn’t my fault. It is a syyyynnnndrome.

AKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

I can see it now, all the pharmaceutical ads that promise that we will be slimly slow dancing again in no time. I just want to puke (hey, maybe that is a syndrome too!)

Thank you for allowing me to rant (not that you really had a choice but Thank You anyway).

I hope that you have a syndrome-free day!

Ella

PS. I may post more later. I just had to get this off my chest.

PPS. Why does the guy look so happy in the picture. Doesn't he know he has a Syndrome. Oh, now I get it. That is why he is so happy. It isn't because he is on 15 different types of medication because he has eaten almost his weight in calories every day and can't walk more than 20 steps without feeling faint. It is because he knows now that it wasn't his fault. He has a synnnndrome. Whew! He might have had to feel bad about himself for a minute. Thank goodness that is over!

PPS. I took this photo of the day before I cleaned up my "sick" table. I have found that when you are sick you end up with a junkie table with all the essentials around you. Here are a few of those essentials for me.

Climbing Out of The Abyss

Okay, I think that I am almost back. I am weak as a kitten, I still feel like napping all the time, and I still have a ton of flu symptoms (that word just doesn’t look like it is spelled correctly – what a strange word) but I have only taken the normal dose of cold / flu medications and I actually feel semi-human so I think that I am on the mend. Plus, I have the strength to write this blog post which must mean that I am close to being 100% again.

Have you ever experienced a “fever breaking”? I have seen it happen with my kids but I can’t remember it happening to me before at least not as vividly. A few nights ago I was having just a dreadful night: my body wasn’t regulating its temperature at all; I was freezing most of the time (I had on a sweater over my night tank and bed socks on while huddling under my duvet in a house heated to 74°F); my sinuses felt like they were holding back the Colorado river; my eyes were watering so much I couldn’t see; my neck felt like I had whiplash (all this and I was medicated at almost double the Nyquil Nighttime dose); and overall I felt as bad as bad could be. I knew that I had a fever because my skin was pretty darned hot. I was thrashing around in bed alternating between wild dreams and feeling all sorry for myself and then all of a sudden I woke up and the my fever had “broken”. I wasn’t all sweaty and hot, I didn’t need my sweatshirt, I didn’t “freeze” when I got up to go to the bathroom … well, you get the idea. I could tell that I was a bit better. It was so strange. One minute you are absolutely sick as a dog and the next you are just plain old sick. Weird. Let me know if you have experienced this. I don’t think that I want to be that sick again for a long, long time.

One thing that I really missed was having Prince Charming here ... or actually anyone that would have cared for me (do I sound pathetic enough yet?). When you are really sick you don’t want to have to deal with the real world. You don’t want to have to walk the dogs and make yourself food, or actually do anything. You just want to wallow. Or, at least I do. You also want someone to feed you soup, and bring you tea, and make a fuss over you. You want someone to care. Someone to acknowledge how sick you are. Someone to tsk tsk over how unfair it is that you are sick. Someone to commiserate with you. I do know that I am lucky that I don’t have to go into work, or look after little kids at home, or have any other pressing things that I have to look after except for the dogs.


Speaking of caring ... My mom used to make me something called Egg in a Cup when I was feeling puny. It is basically 2 soft boiled eggs mixed with buttered toast squares (crust taken off) and salt. I don’t think that there is a much better sick-in-bed comfort food than that. The thing is it doesn’t work if you have to make it yourself. It only works if someone brings it to you with a cup of tea … and then it can cure almost anything. Mom’s have the magic touch when it comes to making you feel better no matter how old you are. (I can’t believe that I found a picture of egg in a cup! Someone else must have a great mom too!)

I hope that I have more to report tomorrow than a “how is Ella feeling” update.

Have a terrific flu-free day!

Ella

If Anyone Deserves a Pity Party I Do!

Okay so I have been having a big old pity party for myself. I have the flu for the second time in about a month. Honestly!

I have been sitting on the couch or sleeping all day. And with sitting comes eating. And with pity parties come BIG calorie eating. Akkk! So, I have the flu, am eating a ton, and am burning about zero calories. AKKK!!!

Consequently I have nothing to say except to gripe more and I don’t feel like taking a picture either.

Thanks for all of the good wishes. I hope to be up and around a bit more tomorrow.

Have a healthy day!

Ella

PS And to make myself feel worse about EVERYTHING I think that I have gained 2 lbs this week! I am declaring this "My Life Sucks Day!!!!"

Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Wolf?

I found out something today that just floored me. I found out that my friend Ms. Quasimodo has an extreme fear of embarrassing herself in public … and even a little in private. Now you might just say “Hey, me too! What’s the big deal then?” and you would be right because I can’t think of when I was just sitting around wishing for a good public embarrassment but this is a bit different or at least it seems different to me.

My friend, Ms. Q, hasn’t ever put on a costume (which precludes trick or treating which is a crime in my sugar-crazed eyes), she has never sat on Santa’s lap (why would my mother want me to sit with a strange man?), and she ever exercised in public (no gym for this gal) or even in front of her husband. Well, you could have bowled me over with a feather! If she only could see me in step class!! I mean if I am still the barometer for all things spastic in that class, even after 6 months, then I can’t imagine not being able to exercise … in front of your husband of 30 years no less! Really, I don’t know what to say.

My sister-in-law (not Megara who probably isn’t afraid of anything) recently revealed to me that she is afraid to travel by herself. Now, I have known this woman for 25 years, she has traveled all over the world (and back again … multiple times), she is an amazingly strong woman both physically and mentally and here I come to find out that she won’t travel alone! She is afraid of getting lost. She won’t even get on an airplane alone because the person that she is visiting might not be there to meet her and then she might get lost. She is TERRIFIED of this! And I never knew!!! I never suspected. It makes me kind of sad.

It does make me wonder what other deep fear-induced behaviors (or in this case, non-behaviors) are lurking amongst my friends and family (please feel free to share in the comments section … or, if your fear is public writing, then in an email).

As for me, I have a very, very strong fear of heights. I know that that is a pretty normal one but it is what it is. I remember when Pumpkin and I were in a church that was being renovated (I think that we were in Austria) and they had scaffolding set up so that you could climb up and look at the domed ceiling I got about 2/3rds of the way up and then started to cry. Yes, actual crying. I was soooo terrified and I had already climbed so far over my personal fear / height (especially when the stairs are grated so that you can see through) that my body actually made me stop by having me burst into tears. I will never forget it. If we had lived in that town I would have forced myself to climb up and down those stairs every day so that I would get used to it! No, really, I would have.

Any suggestions on how I can help my friends / family? Should I even try? Is it my business? Why would I? Why does it bother me so much when if I had heard that they were afraid of heights … or snakes … or other “normal” fears I wouldn’t have given it another thought? Hmmm…

Have a wonderful fear-free day!

Ella

PS Don't think that I forgot about my Picture of the Day! I just needed a bit of inspiration. I was going to photograph my filing cabinet as I have been filing today but I ended up taking a photo of my chicken soup. Yes, I am getting sick again!!! I can hardly believe it. I mean, wasn't I sick just a few weeks ago??? I have been feeling pretty weak this week as you know and quite drained of energy but I put it down to jet lag ... well, I did sort of. I had that niggly feeling in the back of my neck that it might be a bit more than that. And, sadly, I was right. So, hello Flu, goodbye Jet Lag ... and Hello Chicken Soup.